The Heart of an Orphan

I have looked into their eyes on many visits, but it wasn't until this trip that I began to see deeply inside their hearts...and they are broken. In fact, the pieces of their heart are shattered. Hopeless. They survive day to day without thinking about a future. They have no plans, because they have no choices. The unfortunate thing is that this hideous chain of events began in their earliest years when they were forced into abuse, most of it sexual. When this happened they shut down, because if they reacted, they were beaten or worse. Then, they were forced to live on their own after parents faded out of the picture. Some time after that the Mexican government forced them into an orphanage. From there they are forced to live amongst strangers. The orphan seems to appear as rebellious, when in fact, they are crying out to have a voice and be recognized as a hurting soul that needs healing. Orphans have had everything taken from them and they have retracted into a very hard shell. Why? Because that is where they are safe. If they begin to warm up, there seems to be a point when they will suddenly withdraw and back away. They lie, because that is safe. Survival has taught them that. Do they think about tomorrow's consequences? No, because they are just trying to make it through today. Often they hope tomorrow never comes since today hurts too much. I have heard that they are just a bunch of liars. I think the better description is that they are just a bunch of brokenness...because of sin. What is the cure, you might ask? Obviously God is in the business of restoring broken hearts. However, God often chooses to use people to help heal other people. Professional Christian counselors are amazing but often an orphan can't trust them to dig too deep in the beginning. I honestly think that when a church can gather around the orphan and restore trust, they can help to cultivate the soil in their hearts to receive the seeds of love that will begin to restore the trust that has been broken. When their soil is ready, then their brokenness will be ready to receive the wisdom of counselors who can help them sort out their past. This week our team tended a lot of soil The ground was rough and filled with rocks. But, with many hugs, kisses, and prayer, I felt like that the soil in their hearts has become slightly more receptive to the warmth of God's healing love. Do they still need Christian counselors, you might ask? Absolutely, but that is never an option because of money. Please help me pray that several trained professional Christian counselors would be called to minister to the orphans. After this visit, I am convinced more than ever that this is a very real need. It is important for them to be able to put together their past so they can live their future. I am home now. No cochroaches and no spiders in my room. I took a hot shower, slept on a comfortable bed, felt safe with my husband beside me, and have my comfortable lifestyle. My schedule is somewhat dependable as well. Today I should be content, but I cannot kiss an orphan.

Si, Dios!

The team from Hart First Baptist left early this morning after another very busy day. Someone from the team purchased two nice washing machines for the boys and girl's dorm, they resurfaced the roof on the main campus building, installed a nice sink in Tia Eva's house, installed many many light bulbs, replaced broken windows, repaired drywall and held the evening service at Pastor Saulo's church. The jobs were the easy part. Saying “good-bye” to the children was the most difficult task. There were many tears as the children filed through the last hug line. Many hearts have been touched and challenged. The team and the children will never be the same. I apologize that the pictures are not uploading. I have tried for 4 hours (Crazy Mexico internet!!!) I will try to throw some pictures up while I am at the airport tomorrow. This has been a very unusual day. My plans were definitely not God's plans. And it has ended on a lonely note. I am up at Ariba alone...no teens...no one. My plans were to keep very busy today so I would not have time to think. I was going to make cookies, play with the kids, visit more with Rosa and then do some last minute packing. Instead God allowed another situation in my day that brought back painful memories that I needed to help a friend deal with. After that I walked up to the teen girl's dorm by myself and tears streamed down my face as I mourned the loss of my mom, who went to heaven one year ago today. As I cried out to God, He reminded me that I at least had a mom. In fact, 2 moms. They both loved me. Many of these precious children have no idea of what it would have been like to have a mommy tuck them in bed, wash their face with a cool cloth when they are sick or kiss away hurts,but I have. So tonight as I review the beautiful life of my mom, I am turning her sweet memories into a time of praise and worship. "I'm trading my sorrows for the joy of the LORD!"

Reckless Faith

Another day of wiping tears, holding tightly and exchanging sweet kisses. Looking deeply into the eyes of an orphan changes your life forever. Why? Because it's so overwhelming. Only God can heal their hearts and meet their needs. This week our group is 'throwing 1 starfish back into the ocean'. The needs are so great, but thankfully, our God is greater. Today we visited Mercy Orphanage and Revive Ministry and listened to two spiritual giants, Fiedel and Frank share their reckless faith. Later in the afternoon we held the evening service where Madison and Rose bravely gave their testimonies and lives were touched. God is blessing. Why? Because he LOVES orphans.